~strawberryska

WORD MEME: stolen from =catzzzrule

Dear pizza delivery man,
I am writing today to tell you that I found a potato.
I felt embarrassed because of the hooker who gave me her number last week.
If you have any sort of problem with this, then take the stick out of your ass!
I hope to get you in the sack within the next few days. Also, if you wouldn't mind,
would you tell the foreign guy at work that I haven't taken my medicine and could you mention that I said,"HAIL HITLER"
I would tell them myself, but I'm afraid that I am a total bitch.
With a bounce in my step and a song in my heart,
Chi

XD That made my day...er night...whatever Ima sleep now.
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If you want to do it copy the thing below and fill in the blanks with the answers you get from the Q's below the form:
---------------------------
Dear____1____,
I am writing today to tell you ___2____.
I felt _____3____ because of the _____4_____.
If you have any sort of problem with this, then ______5_____!
I hope to ______6_______. Also, if you wouldn't mind,
would you tell _____7_____ that _____8______ and could you mention that I said, "____9____"
I would tell them myself, but I'm afraid _____10_____.
With ____11____,
(your name)

1- What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
a. Eggs and sausage- --Who am I kidding, why would anyone call YOU dear...
b. Just eggs- secret lover,
Just bacon- mother,
c. Bacon and sausage- you,
d. Pancakes- my little gumdrop,
e. Pancakes and sausage- Carpet munching carpet muncher,
f. Biscuits and gravy- myself,
g. cereal- man with a little wiener,
h. All or most of the above- anyone who finds this letter,
i. I didn't eat breakfast- Father of my children whose name escapes me,
j. Other- pizza delivery man,

2- What color is the shirt you are wearing?
a. Red- that your fly is undone.
b. pink- that the very sight of your face brings vomit to my mouth.
c. yellow- that I had a great time last night.
d. green- that you and your lover were too loud last night.
e. blue- just how sexy those jeans make your butt look.
f. purple- that I have decided to leave your harem.
g. black- that I will now be working on the corner of 31st and Admiral instead of 31st and 129th.
h. white- that I found a potato.
i. many colors- my left hand is tingly.
j. I'm not wearing a shirt- that I am writing you a letter.
k. other- nothing in particular, I just want to try out my new gel pens.

3- What is your favorite food out of the following?

a. pizza- you would want to know about this
b. spaghetti- very aroused
c. fettucini - extremely offended
d. Asian food- excruciatingly pained
e. strawberries- embarrassed
f. vegetables- sick
g. calamari- all hot and sticky
h. chips- indescribably happy
i. I can't decide, all of the above sounds gross- the need to tell you burst from my chest
j. Other- soopa naughty nasteh

4- Which out of the following is your favorite hobby?

a. sleeping- large bug on my arm.
b. eating- loud sounds I heard coming from your bedroom.
c. reading- snowmen next door.
d. watching tv/movies- growing suspicion about your relationship with my cat.
e. being with friends/significant other/family- money situation.
f. going on the internet- bulge in your pants.
g. talking on the phone- last few times I've seen you.
h. sports- suicide note I found.
i. I don't have any hobbies- boogers in my nose.
j. other- hooker who gave me her number last week.

5- Which is/was your favorite subject in school?

a. english- Suck it!
b. math- go to hell!
c. science- please write about it on a piece of paper and shove it in your butt hole!
d. history- don't tell anyone I said anything!
e. art- take the stick out of your ass!
f. recess- take the money and leave me alone!
g. lunch- never talk to me again!
h. foreign language- touch my body!
i. none- shove several decorative fruits in your mouth!
j. more than one- think it over very carefully!
k. other- go play in traffic!

6- What do you like most in the desired gender's appearance?

a. dark hair- never see your nasty pimple face again.
b. light hair- see your nice butt walking away from me.
c. blue eyes- meet you in the back room in 20 minutes.
d. brown eyes- get you in the sack within the next few days.
e. green eyes- catch you scratching yourself someday.
f. glasses- get the check out to you ASAP.
g. tall- take you out to a nice seafood dinner and then never call you again.
h. other- date your sister.
i. several of these- smack you upside the head.
j. none of these- murder you and your family by tomorrow night.

7. Which of the following is most important about your ideal gf/bf?

a. their appearance- your mom
b. they are affectionate- your sister
c. they are protective- the Eskimos next door
d. they are rich- the Chinese restaurant
e. they are funny- the foreign guy at work
f. they are talented- my husband
g. they are athletic- my dog
h. they are understanding- the television
i. they are confident- that hot guy we saw the other day
j. other- yourself

8. What color are most of the socks that you own?

a. white- the booger hanging out of their nose is very distracting
b. black- their thong does not match the rest of the outfit
c. blue- I will not be attending the Christmas party this year
d. pink- meatballs are yummy
e. soccer socks- they forgot their underwear in my bedroom
f. argyle socks- I chased an old man today
g. bright colors- I haven't taken my medicine
h. a variation of colors- their left ass cheek hangs out all the time
i. I don't own many socks- I have their thong that they left in my kitchen
j. other- I made use of the pickles that we used the other night

9. What color are the underwear that you are wearing right now?

a. a lot of colors- Hi.
b. white- HAIL HITLER.
c. black- Duh, bitch.
d. red- I can see your ass.
e. blue- I love what you've done with your windows.
f. purple- See you in hell.
g. Grey- You gonna pick me up?
h. green- Stop running with scissors.
i. other- You looked extremely fat yesterday.
j. I'm not wearing any underwear - You are a poopy poop mouth.

10. What is your favorite beverage out of the following?

a. orange soda- of them.
b. Mt. Dew- of spiders.
c. Any soda- of what they might say.
d. milk- that I am no longer speaking to that person.
e. water- that my time has been cut short.
f. Pepsi- that I cannot be seen with them.
g. Dr. Pepper- !!!!!!!
h. alcoholic beverage- that the purple people eater will take away my means of communication.
i. coke- that I cannot think correctly.
j. other- that I am a total bitch.

11. What month were you born in?

a. Jan- complete and utter hate
b. Feb- my best regards
c. Mar- a bounce in my step and a song in my heart
d. Apr- your well-being in mind
e. May- nothing at all else to say
f. Jun- love
g. Jul- a booger in my nose
h. Aug- pure joy
i. Sep- a long lasting climax
j. Oct- sincerest salutations
k. Nov- fingers in my belly button
l. Dec- you on my mind